Tuesday

me me me me is all you say that i care about.

i think im getting soft in my old age.
what the fuck happened to all my priorities.
money.
fame and power.
lots of hot bitches.
really fast cars and super big houses.

seriously.
who have i become.

im scared of the world.
not the planet.
that scarred globe keeping me alive.
but of the people killing it.
of the corruption and the abuses and the ruining i'm choking on.

i remember one night.
hiking in the forests with my mother.
losing the trail and watching night fall.
sleeping in a hallowed out redwood.
she was scared.
i was amazed.
and the rangers who appeared under the stars.
with hot chocolate and peanut butter crackers.
how they ruined the most perfect night.
i could see and hear and taste the world.
i could run my fingertips over it.
i could feel it under me. and around me.
it was fantastic.

i'm scared of every person who has left me less than i was.
every hand that's been raised to me.
every word that's been spit at me.
i'm scared of them.
because i can see myself in each and every fucking one.

i'm terrified of all the people who've broken my heart.
because i know that i'll do it to someone.
who am i anymore.

and why do the tears come so easily.

Posted by blue.vinyl :: 03:02 :: 0 Comments:

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